Short autobiography:
Peter Krug's life was very hard from birth. He never got to know his own father (supposedly a doctor by profession). Never seen a picture of him.
The mother put Peter Krug in a nursing home after the father suggested that Peter Krug be aborted. He spent the first 2 years in a nursing home. He then came to a children's home (Itzling), which boys and girls (about 20 or more)
took up to 6 years old. The home was closed and Peter Krug felt like he was in a prison. He had no friends and no caregiver in the children's home.He had no relatives, no aunts, no uncles - no one. Sometimes he was picked up by the birth mother over the weekend. These were the few days when Peter Krug was allowed to experience freedom in the first 6 years. Although he was not physically abused in the home, he was locked up in the basement and psychological terror was commonplace. When Peter Krug reached the age of 6, he was too old for the children's home and was taken to a Projuventute children's village in Guggenthal. There, Peter suffered severe physical abuse. From the experiences made and the experience of not being noticed by anyone, Peter Krug reacted with silence and grief. He had to endure grief, lack of understanding and physical violence without exchanging these experiences with other caregivers and verbally procressing them. The bad experiences became an insurmountable obstacle for Peter Krug. He couldn't be careful at school and often cried. Instead of writing school essays at school, he sat frozen on the school desk and couldn't write sentences. In return, he received therefore the worst grades, which again caused Peter big fear that he would be beaten more or be locked in the basement as a punishment. Due to poor grades, Peter Krug completely lost the ground under his feet. He got fits of suffocation. Peter Krug always had suffocation attacks at night accompanied by fear of death. To get help, he went to another child's bed and unconscious. He fell on the other child's bed. He was taken to the hospital. The caregivers could not understand at all and so Peter Krug was brought to another foreign home.
Adolescence:
Peter Krug felt torn out and could not adapt to the new environment. He was then taken to a nursing home. There Peter Krug was subjected to severe physical abuse. For more than a week, he was mugged at night and sexually abused by a colleague of the legal guardian. This sexual perpetrator had tattoos all over his body and only a few teeth left.His hair was long and unwashed. Peter Krug therefore fled. He fled because he was desperate for the brutal physical violence which he had experienced.
At that time he resolutely had decided to fall off the mountain. The police brought Peter Krug back to same nursing home in Liefering. In Liefering, where Peter Krug was punched with a fist by an alcoholic and very violent, angry man. In Liefering he also learned chess at the age of 12 or 13. Peter Krug had great learning difficulties and after school he had to take on jobs that he didn't know what to do with. He therefore experienced further frustrations in the workplace. Again and again he ran away from the apprenticeships offered to him. After all, hardly anyone cared about him. He became more interested in chess and often went to the Kaffee Mozart in the Getreidegasse. There he flashed (5 minutes Blitz game) with other chess players and could make some money with it. Due to lack of money, however, he could not join the Mozart chess club. When Peter Krug could no longer earn anything from playing chess, he had nothing to eat. In addition to white sugar cubes, he had starved for a few months in his youth. Sometimes he got old bread to eat. Starved and forgotten, he strolled through the streets of Salzburg. At that time he had no idea how to proceed. Any prospect of the future was blocked.
Peter Krug was unable to complete a commercial apprenticeship.
As an adult he worked in the cinema as a trained cinema projectionist and then as a night porter in various 4 star hotels in Salzburg. He started yoga due to stress and severe sleep disorders. So Peter Krug got back into balance and could sleep well again. He did the yoga teacher training in Germany and also composed chess problems and chess studies. In 2017 he became FIDE master in chess composition.
The relationship between Peter Krug and chess:
In Liefering he had learned chess from a psychologist at the age of 12 or 13 because it was the only way to communicate with Peter Krug. Peter Krug did not speak to anyone at that time. He couldn't look anyone in the eye. For Peter Krug, chess was the ideal way to get away from the crushing past of his childhood.
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Fight against censorship
Child abuse is one of the worst crimes against people. Parentless children, unmarried children were brought into children's homes. There were closed homes where the exit was impossible and open children's homes.
The censorship runs on two levels:
1.
As a former child at home, you want to wipe out the bad times yourself and preferably not talk about them. Any personal confrontation with your own suffered violence
from a psychological point of view it goes to the limit of resilience
In order to function as an adult, the trauma is suppressed and if possible forgotten. I call that self-censorship for self-protection
2. public censorship:
The former managers and youth welfare offices want to
know nothing about the subject of childhood abuse and
certainly not publish anything.
My intention is:
- The former abused and sexually abused children have to go public! Decades of unspokenness and Memory blocks are the serious burdens that have to be overcome.Self-insecurity and identity instability in youth due to speechlessness must be overcome.Social exclusion over the years as a result of childhood abuse must be overcome.
- The distancing of a traumatic past is a long one. It is important to recognize that the situation has changed in the present. It is important to say goodbye emotionally to relationships that are long gone. It is important to get rid of the negative impressions.
- Positive, constructive thinking is the most important
I believe that negative, self-destructive thoughts are unconscious.
Neither self-destructive Behavior any kind of addictions make it possible
to work through your own past.
Peter Krug joined Pixels.com Licensing on April 2nd, 2019.
