I always knew... I have always known what I want in life... I was sure and confident about it as well... I don't know what happened, I mean I know... but it is too hard for me to believe it. It scares me because I know it's true, and I don't know the way out of it now... I have set myself on the path that was not designed for me at all... I have triggered the bomb, and I don't know how to stop the countdown. Piece by piece, life is stripping me of what I have known... Leaving me with nothing but darkness and chaos in my mind. I don't know what I want any more, what is even worse; I feel like the things I have always loved doing are leaving me as well... All my pillars of existence are crumbling underneath the weight of emptiness. I just don't know any more... I feel like those spiky greens shivering and trembling in the wind, unconsciously waiting to be finally knock down from their highest point in life...
August 4th, 2017
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