In Memory Of David

Title

In Memory Of David

Artist

Debra Lynch

Medium

Photograph - Photography

Description

He was a good husband, sometimes over zealous and angry about minor things, but always a hard worker and supporter of family. His good always out weighed his sometimes less than tender behaviors. Always family oriented, never sentimental or romantic, to the point and honest to a fault. Saying what he meant and never sugar coating anything for anyone. Everyone knew where they stood with this tall, slim husband, father and grandfather. He often scared my friends away rather quickly so I learned to visit with them outside the home where we would giggle about the things he said while they insisted on not making too many future visits to our home. Try as I might there was no taming his tongue so we compromised quiet often and I never pushed my views and style of living on to him, as he was too much of a rock solid personality and myself a little marshmallow in comparison. However my whole family adored him and often gathered to chat with him to hear his views of the world, which he kept up on daily. If they were offended they just postponed visiting until they felt up to more of his zealous opinionated ways. I would often slip into a back room to giggle softly into a pillow unless he had angered me also, and then I would tell him, to get me out, you must plead with every breath you have before I will speak to you again. But that never happened as I was the one in the family who gave in first and forgave the quickest. I've never been capable of holding an angry thought too long and have often been accused of being too soft. This is a fact that irritated my husband Dave more than anything so try as both of us did and often, we were as different as night and day. I the giver and forgiver and he the tough, to the point and not going to apologize man.

He replanted these flowers for me last Autumn, with neither of us realizing the flowers he planted at the end of last year would be the last he would ever plant on this earth again. So I ran out in the rain to capture these flowers in his memory. He passed on this week after a heart attack in which he refused to allow me to call a doctor or for help until a few days later when it was to late to fix anything. Sadly it damaged not only his kidney's but all his organs. We allowed for partial life support in the hope that a miracle would be forthcoming but even that was too late.

I made the hard decision of my life this past Tuesday and my son and I sit one on each side of the hospital bed holding his hands, me fussing trying to warm his hand and feet and asking for warm blankets and water with q-tips to wet his lips. After a few minutes of watching him struggle between life and death, we started playing his play list of old rock and roll songs, and his breathing eased a little and his blood pressure slowly dwindled down to 00. He slowly stopped breathing and his body went into a gentle softness from which he never awoke. My son so much like his dad, said Mother may I leave the room, I can't bear to look any longer and I ushered him out and layed my head on my husbands chest for the last time as I told him thank you for the love and care he provided to me and our 3 children.

A part of life is death, a fact I came to recognize as a child and a fact that I still don't like to accept but know that it is as necessary to life as being born. Never be afraid to discuss this top with your loved ones. And do it before it is too late. Never ignore your health and do get check-ups. Men this mainly is for you. If only all of his doctors kept repeating to me, IF ONLY he had taken time to have physicals we could have fixed everything that went wrong along with the heart attack. And I tried to encourage him but stubborn and hard headed and unable to admit he was only human stood in the way. So all I have now are flowers he planted last Autumn and many memories of 41 years of knowing him.

I write this to hopefully encourage others to be proactive with their health and do not wait, thinking this can never happen to you. There are many ways to show your family you love them, and one of them is by having physicals and caring for your health.

God be with you all, and I dedicate this to the memory of a wonderful father, husband, grandfather, uncle, brother and son.

Uploaded

May 15th, 2020

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