Canine Friend Moves On -- The Art Of Grief

Condolences.

Bruce looks like he had a good time of his time here, with you.

PLAU
UPS

Robert, I totally understand where you are right now. It hurts so much

A truly gorgeous dog.

Lots of hugs xxxx

Robert, I am so very sorry. I lost my Sheba last December and I still find myself grieving over and missing her. Bruce was beautiful.

Robert,

My condolences.

Dave

I'm really sorry to hear that, Robert. t is just the worst, I know. It's been years since I had to make the same decision and we decided not to get another dog because of the pain of losing them. There's just nothing like the love and acceptance a dog gives you. I'm actually shedding some tears now just thinking about it so I'll move on. But I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

I'm so sorry, Robert........

I am very sorry for your loss Robert. What a beautiful boy. It's so hard... I lost my sweet lab Maggie last November miss her everyday.

What a handsome dog. Sincere condolences Robert.

Robert, I'm so sorry. Our family dog was put down on Oct. 15...I'm still sad. Bruce was beautiful and was lucky to have you while he was here. It is sad that our fur babies do not stay with us forever. I feel your pain. The unconditional love we receive from them is such a great gift. Hugs of comfort to you during this time. :(

So sorry to hear of your loss. I Lost my Labrador in December on Christmas Day.I walk past his grave every day and still get choked up. Take care.

Sorry to here that Robert. I know what's it like to suffer such a loss! I have another one of mine with many large tumors and up in age and we are getting closer to having to make that dreadful,dreadful,decision, praying she goes quietly in here sleep instead.

So sorry Robert, I understand how you feel.

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone.

Mario,

Easy passings, I'm afraid, are not the rule, but rather the gracious exception. Bruce was biding his time, as 9 is the average span for a German shepherd (he was 12 +).

What is so amazing is how fast major symptoms can present. I did a three-mile, energetic walk with B on Tuesday -- yeah, he'd been having some joint pain, slow days and faster days, bought him a brace for the ankle he broke eight years ago that required a steel pin in it (seemed to grow weaker with age). His Tuesday walk was almost puppy like. But by Saturday, a major symptom of rear-end degeneration showed up, after a lethargic, very brief walk in the woods, where, upon entering the gate to my back yard, his rear legs collapsed, crossed over, and for a moment, he could not stand. By night fall, he could not stand or walk at all. He went from puppy-like to invalid in just four days. After that, it was not elegant in any way, as my sister and I had to tend him every two hours, for two days, because (of course) it was the weekend, and his vet was not open on the weekend.

It was a heroic effort, on both our parts, to keep him as comfortable as possible. I was forced to get creative in ways that I would have preferred not to, ... figuring out how to stand him up every four hours or so, change his body position, prop him with pillows, etc., ... lifting and holding the dead weight of a hundred-pound dog with dangling, useless legs, every two hours, all night long, for two days in a row. Very frustrating for both of us. I saw, then, absolutely no other option than to put him down -- it was so obvious. Fortunately, he did not seem to be in any pain, and even though he wrestled with me to do what needed to be done to comfort him, by the second day, he seemed to accept the routine and began helping some. He did not suffer physical pain, but I think he suffered emotional pain (or the dog equivalent), in not being able to be his usual energized self. I hate to say, but it was two days of hell, physically, mentally, emotionally. Not elegant. Not quick enough (due to vet timing). You have to be prepared to run the marathon, I guess -- that's part of being a responsible pet owner. It can push you to your limits, if you really care about the lower species. Maybe I'm handicapped, because I, like many people, do care that much -- one of my weaknesses.

Anyhow, whatever you might have to go through, just realize that the marathon does end, and the best choice for everyone HAS to be made, even though the sadness will nag at you for a while. When the time comes to make the dreaded decision, just do it, say your good bye's, turn around, walk away, don't look back, and let the professionals do what they do best. Then make some memorial art, or gather some memorial photos of the best times. This is where art can come in handy.

Grief seems to be part of the life process. There's no escaping it, unless you are a psychopath.

Good Monday, everyone. The coming days will get better, I know, but, for now, I will continue to indulge a bit in the savoring of my pain.

Thank you for sharing that Robert, it was agonizing what you and your sister went through and it is all that much worse with larger animals. Little bit is a huge dog and I know you are right about the chances of it being graceful not being to great. I will try to keep her around until such time as I see she begins to suffer, right now she is not in pain but the tumors are so large she doesn't want to walk any more than needed because they are so heavy she is 14 years old now. It's a sad situation any way I look at it, and I know it's not going to be easy. Suffering is the one sure thing in life we can all expect at some time or another. Take care Robert.

So sorry for your loss. It leaves behind a terrible void i am sure.

A void with good memories, strangely.

From last summer:

Very sad and I am sorry for your grief.
Sorry too that you had to wait for the vet. I can't imagine the hell you had to endure because of that.

I'm a dog lover like crazy, I've put 3 down after they had very long lives of 12-16 years.
I think it gets a little easier with each dog, knowing what is coming.
When I adopted my current dog, before even leaving the shelter, I mentally flashed forward to when she would leave me.
How love hurts, but worth the price of dog love.

I hope you find another great side kick as soon as you are ready.

That's a tough one, Robert. So sorry. Sounds like you were able to get a few extra years with him, though. You can rest easy knowing you gave Bruce a good life.

Aww, now I'm all sniffley :,(

I'm sure you gave him an awesome life Robert, he was lucky to own you.

___________
Susan Maxwell Schmidt
So-so Group Moderator and
Artist Extraordinaire

To love an animal is a privilege that comes at a very steep price...we pay in tears... all at once.
Thank you for sharing this with us - Bruce was truly a king.

Awww, so sorry, Robert. I have two lovely dogs waiting for me on the other side. One died at home and the other went through something similar to what you just described. It is was it is, but it's still hard. He's running through the fields now. Try to think of him that way.

It's all always so damn heartbreaking. I'm sorry Robert . A brutal thing to lose your best friend.

Sorry for your loss of a good friend, Robert. You can take comfort in knowing that he had a good, long life filled with love and human companionship. That is exactly what dogs need and thrive on. Twelve years is a very good life for a German Shepherd.

During the Vietnam war, I was assigned to a combat K-9 unit and we had 110 German Shepherds. I worked with one walking the perimeter wire at night around an ammo dump not far from Saigon for about 5 months, and got very attached in that short period of time. Traded him to another guy when I changed jobs to walk point on ambush and recon patrols. I had my 2nd dog for 7 months until my tour was over. We spent a lot of days and nights together, under some pretty harsh conditions and some pretty scary times. When my tour was over, she had to stay and work with a new guy. Before I left, one night I took some beer, whiskey and some snacks down to her kennel back at our main base. We talked, laughed, cried and said our goodbyes. When the sun came up the next morning, we were both sleeping on the hard concrete floor of her kennel and a bit hungover.

I tried having a dog years later after the Army, but it just didn't seem right for me as I did not have enough time to devote to a dog and I just preferred the memories of my close K-9 friends that I had in the Army. There is not a day that goes by, that I have not had thoughts of them, or told stories about them to friends, family or dog lovers that I meet.



Best wishes!

Very sorry about that Robert, sucks describes it well.

Mel S.,

That's an awesome story. Thanks for sharing.

During his final two days, I slept with my dog too.

Damndest (hope I can say that) thing -- I had just bought him a huge, very plush, memory foam bed, because, this past year, he had shown signs of straining to get up onto furniture he was accustomed to getting on, thinking that this would become his new sofa in his latter two or so years, which I thought he might have remaining. He refused to have anything to do with it on his own, preferring to continue straining (climbing, instead of jumping) onto the sofa and a large recliner. I could lure him there with a treat for a few minutes, and, as long as I was lying there with him, he would sack out, but the moment I left, he got up and would have nothing further to do with it.

The ironic thing is that I bought the bed as a later-life extension aid, and it ended up being his death (or near death) bed. This is where he was comforted for his remaining time, and where I myself slept with or near him those two days.

I know it's so self indulgent to dwell on all this, but it's what us emotional humans do. I am embracing my wimpery. (^_^) ... smiling, as I have tears at the same time.

Now let's maybe take a lesson in vet medicine here. Because of my inquiring nature, I did not believe that degenerative myelopathy was the culprit in Bruce's case, since this disease seems to have a much slower onset time. I started digging around the internet to try finding what could present so quickly as rear end paralysis, and I think that I might have come closer to the answer: a condition called ... "Fibrocartilaginous Embolism" ..., which is like a stroke to the spinal column. Here's a link to a description of this condition:

http://vetspecialists.com/fibrocartilaginous-embolism-fce-in-pets-dogs-and-cats/

Robert,

I am very sad to read this post. As many others here I have lost more than one furry best friend but the last one hit me the hardest.

Embrace your wimpery! It proves you are capable of loving deeply and having compassion on other living beings.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I hope it helped you get through yesterday and will in the days ahead.

Robert, so sorry for your loss. I actually did think of the spinal embolism when reading your account because I've heard of that condition happening in cats before. It is a very sudden onset from what I understand. It never gets easier for me making that final decision though. My last cat, Chance, was insulin dependent diabetic for nearly half of his 16 year life. I still miss him after several years even though there are pets in my life. My sister has several dogs and cats but I don't want that responsibility on my own again. Maybe someday but I'm not ready now. Cherish your good memories.

@ Robert;

You are most welcome and I am glad you enjoyed my K9 story from almost 50 years ago. I do enjoy telling people about Military Working Dogs way back then, as many just didn't know the valuable work they did and the many lives they saved.

We lost quite a few German Shepherds in our unit to various diseases, injuries and of course actions in combat. I remember that in one month, we lost 10 to a blood parasite that was unknown back in the States at that time. After four months with my Scout Dog, I was sure that her hearing was damaged one night by some very close artillery support, and she was not as good at her job as she was in the beginning. I should have reported her condition, but I knew that if I did she would be taken away from me and put down. So I kept my mouth shut and tried very hard to make my ears work better. She was 4 years old when I had her, and I always wondered what happened to her after I left. About 30 years after the war, I was informed that she was put down at the age of 6 due to being determined to no longer being effective

If you like, I have some more photos and brief stories of her in my "Vietnam Retrospective " collection.



Your K9 friend had a good long life and is now in a better place with no suffering or pain.

Enjoy your memories.

Mel S,

There's a movie of your life with combat working dogs waiting to be made, I think.

And I think the perfect title for that movie would be the title of that first photo you showed, We Were Soldiers.

It's hard to imagine watching a bunch of those dogs go down, for whatever reasons, because of war. Under such challenging conditions, I guess one has to "man up" or "dog up" more, and the agonies of loss become more bearable with quantity. Living in our civilized comfortable lives, most of us have no idea how harsh survival can be. The natural animal kingdom seems much more cruel, by comfy human standards.

I appreciate both your and your canine associate's services.

Thanks for your nice comments Robert. Since your K9 buddy was a German Shepherd, I thought maybe a different kind of story or two about the breed may help you deal with your loss.

Several years ago, I sent care packages weekly to our soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq, and one of them was a dog handler. The training, equipment, capabilities and knowledge of the dogs and handlers has improved greatly over what I experienced 50 years ago. I had 2 months of training with my Sentry Dog for walking the perimeter wire at the ammo dump. Then when I changed jobs and got my Scout Dog ( her 1st handler got wounded and sent back to the USA ), I only had 2 weeks of training for walking point on patrols followed by 3 nights OJT with an experienced Scout Dog Handler. Next thing I knew I was just a scared 19 year old leading a squad of 10 guys who I frequently thought were walking way too far behind me. I was one of the lucky ones to make it back home in one piece.

Each of our dogs had short serial numbers tattooed inside one ear and we all believed the Army took better care of them, than us. Years ago, when I went to D.C. to see the Vietnam Memorial ( The Wall ), I left photos and some information on both of my dogs as they too were soldiers who served their country and died in Vietnam.

Mel S,

Fascinating stuff.

What did the dogs eat? Who fed/watered them? Where did they sleep? Just curious, as these things are instrumental in civilized pet care. Militarized pet care must be a bit more stoic, I imagine.

I went to your artist page and checked out your other photos in that collection, by the way.

Bruce was a lot more pampered than your soldier dogs, for sure. (^_^)

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your family member Robert. I have been fortunate in that my father took care of our dog when she was killed and I was away at school (she chased a large truck, looking back I would never own a dog that wasn't trained). He traveled up to Chicago from WVA for his dog to receive cancer treatments. I felt bad for Ben having to lose him after taking care of him for about a year and a half. Like Kathy said so eloquently - you have the ability to love deeply and have compassion on other living beings. That says a lot about you.

So, I haven't tried to draw anything, free hand, in over ten years, but, just for the heck of it, I tried to do a quick study of the center photo in that collection I posted at the beginning of this thread. I spent about five minutes trying to feel out the main lines and forms on just a piece of scrap legal-pad paper, using a regular old ink pin. Then I scanned it, did a threshold color adjustment to get rid of the notebook-paper lines, and cropped the result:



I was never trained, and I never really practiced drawing much. This was just an exercise. I see where I missed in accuracy. Maybe I'll keep repeating the study over and over again, until I can lead myself up to a full-out pencil drawing with shading and all. That's a tall self order, but, hey, maybe the time is right.

Robert,

That is great. I suspect drawing Bruce is healing for you which of course makes your statement correct......maybe the time is right.

I like it!

Sorry to hear about your loss...Just awful
Last year we lost all our dogs (4). Three to old age and one, a Pit Bull, that we put down at age 6 because she attacked my wife twice and my wife's dog 3 times.

I've had 15 dogs in my long life. Loved them all but two broke my heart at their passing...a German Shepherd and the above-mentioned Pit Bull whom we had rescued from an abusive owner.

@ Robert K.,

Scout Dog Heidi and I mostly did short night patrols in and around the small villages, rice paddies and rivers from sundown to sunrise, and then we returned back to our main base to rest during the day. During those 12 - 14 hours on patrols, she (and I ) did not eat unless I brought some type of snack. Carrying enough water was more important, to keep her from drinking contaminated water in the paddies, creeks or rivers. Back at the main base, our dogs were fed a large bowl ( once a day I think around noon ) of some type of dog food mixture that was prepared by our Vet Techs.

During our 5 day Recon patrols, I had to carry her food which was some individually wrapped dry round patties, exactly what was in them I don't remember but they looked similar to a hamburger. I would also share any left over C-rations I could gather, bum, trade or get from the other guys in my squad. Once again, water was more important and that's when I learned a gallon of water weighs about 8 pounds. I occasionally also got some cans of Alpo for her.



Since we did mostly short night patrols, she slept during the day while at our main base in her individual kennel and I got some sleep in my bunk at the barracks. Our Vet Techs also took care of our dogs with regular shots, teeth cleanings, once a month dips in tick solutions and overall physical checkups. I believe our dogs were pretty well cared for during that time period and under those conditions.

I think you are on the right track with getting back into drawing, especially with Bruce as your subject.

Thanks, Mel S, for the detail.

Others, thanks for the sentiments.

It's an interesting study in human conditioning to note how things change, when a routine, daily part of one's life goes missing. Of course, I still do my morning walks, but, strangely, on the first day, without Bruce, the street actually looked different in a way that I cannot describe. I think this had to do with how my specific focus was conditioned for many years -- not looking outward freely, but intermittently looking down and around, stopping, pausing, etc., instead of moving steadily at a monotonal pace. Now I'm walking with more flow, in a more purely human configuration, rather than more choppy, in a more canine configuration. My habit was to let the dog walk me, while I contained him and guided him from going off too extremely, ... more like riding a horse, so he would be initiating the moves, and I would just be monitoring and refining them, which probably gave him a greater sense that he was doing the work.

And, of course, there are those moments when my reflexes automatically prepare to feed the dog, or be careful not to let the dog out, when entering the front door, or anticipating a dog begging for my toast and butter, etc. Yesterday, as I was setting off for a morning walk, I felt like I was forgetting something, and I figured it was my reflexive sense that I was forgetting the dog.

We're such creatures of habit, and I am this in a greater degree than most, probably.

Robert, so sorry about your loss. :( I have a 12 y/o GSD. With health issues. Some days are good, some days are not. I dread having to say goodbye. I just had to say goodbye to our 16 year old cat yesterday...and based on how that's going for me, when the time comes for Max, I'll probably be a complete basket case.

Jai J,

Basket case, yes, that's an easy place to go. Even after five days for me, the loss is getting a little more tolerable.

I think to myself, "What a luxury it is to be able to grieve over an animal." When I think about it, it's sort of child-like. There's so much more in the world to be sad about, and here I am selfishly indulging my own sadness over a pet dog. I can't seem to stop this indulgence cold, though. Our comfort in civilized living allows us to nurture grief. I guess that's a good thing.

I surely don't like the feel of it.

http://www.kizoa.com/Movie-Video-Slideshow-Maker/d226764079k4053454o1l1/bruce2006-2018

My condolences for you and your friend, Robert.

Thanks for the thought, Joe B.

Life goes on.

Grief is one of the worst emotions, lots of love and healing thoughts for you Robert.

Grief is one of the worst emotions, lots of love and healing thoughts for you Robert.

Your dog Bruce was beautiful. Sorry for your loss Robert.

So sorry to see Robert. Bruce was a stunner, reminds me of so many of mine that have made the journey to the bridge. Some words to maybe bring some comfort, I wish you peace in your heart.

The Way

In the darkness I turned to go, my last day's done, I'll miss you so.
Not much time to say good bye, or to lick the tears spilling from your eyes.

That's when I heard you call my name, I knew right then I must turn back to help ease your pain.
Since I've no voice with which to speak it's whispers in your dreams I'll make. Ease your heart and rest your mind,
my time with you was the best of kind. I couldn't have asked for a better friend, we've shared our journey to the very end.

There's ones final thing you need to know, I'll whisper in your ear before I go.

"I'm leaving first to find the way, so I can lead you back here with me... on your last day."

(c) sue long

I feel your pain, bro. I really do. My German Shepherd died some 8 years ago and I still miss her much.

Sue L,

Great poem.

Now, inspired by Mel S, I started looking into soldier dogs, and, as a result, I came up with this:



It is helpful being connected to people who get the dog thing.